Journals239
Newest
After 17 years, an end has come.
5 min read
Sure it's always easier when you have seen it coming, -when it was foreseeable. But it isn't nice.
When you get yourself a pet, especially one with a higher life expectancy, prepare yourself that you'll have to let go again and say good bye, one day. No fitting emoji for that flat, numb feeling.
When i was 13 and having troubles at school with focussing in class and stuff, getting fed Ritalin, my mom got use two kittens, one of which didn't make it too long; Krümel ('Crumble') and Mauzi (German name of Meowth). It was the latter of which who, in her hunger, bit off the tip of a feeding bottle and got a hefty shot of the milk down her lungs, which led to pneumonia, which in turn got spotted a little too late. Krümel, then, made it. At that time, i had hefty issues with with my sleep, the biorhythm and an unbalanced daily energy circle, which led to intense frustration and and downright depression-ish states; so my mom told me, given how my brain tends to discard a lot of memories. But for whatever the exact reason was, ever since Krümel was there, so she told me, i had changed. My outbursts of anger at rather slight or minor causes, resulting in me hitting myself, ceased, perhaps thanks to that i had something else to focus on, what with the cats needing to get take care of, of course. Or at least, they mostly ceased; there were still times when i got to the boiling point in a blink, and as much as i loved Krümel and took care of her for ma part, my anger still had occasionally hit her. If you get to wonder, -yes, i do feel bad about it. No, i never went really overboard, but it still was often beyond what was necessary.
So, Krümel grew, aged, and has surpassed the arrivals of three other cats ever since: Felix of 'Fe-fe', -a red, striped sissy of tomcat with white marks, who for the love of god can't shut up-, secondly Amigo, -a black, found and picked up wildling-house cat seemingly ever-cautious, who grew up into a quite the big size-, and at last Molli, -a black and white little, stubby, podgy of a cat, overtaken while sick from someone else who might have just kicked her out to the street. Y'know; family. And at the age of ten years, between Amigo's and Molli's arrival, i think, Krümel once almost died already, what with her kidneys having gone weak a lot, and the values of her uric acid having gone off the rails. We saved her, got her back up, and she made it, for seven more years. But nobody gets younger, as you know.
So this small, filigree cat with the perhaps not too elegant nickname of 'Ümmi' (from 'Krümel'), who seemingly never managed to decide whether to be a lady, a household-caretaker, or a rowdy, managed to make it past my anger, her own once already almost fatal sickness, an ever-whining eternal tom-kitten, a sneaky and playful biggie unable to keep his own size strength on mind, and a little heartfelt fattie who came to us so scaredly aggressive she almost came off mad rabid. She has seen two kittens growing up after herself, -has had her tail and paws stepped on so god-damn often and who ever learned jack shit to get out of the way, -has never stopped following her bizarre habit of eating up fluffs off the floor as if she wanted to remind us to clean up, -who has to little surprise, lived and died for food coming from our table and plates, -and who has never shaken off that strict and elegant lady-look in her face and eyes, or in her way of sitting.
And yeah, sure, there are many cats who don't make it to that age, and yeah, there are cats meeting a worse fate on the streets, at the hand of other animals, and what not. Sure she didn't live the worst live imaginable. So yeah, 17 years isn't too bad. But then on our way home, my mom asked me if it had been alright for her to tag me along for this or not. And about that, i just had the feeling that that cat had not only given to me, but also gotten from me, and yeah, not only in the good way. So i felt like, staying with her till the end, i kind of owed to her.
And then, there we are. After 17 years, on the 13th of June, not too far from the date when we had gotten her back then, the day had eventually come for us to return back home with one cat less than we had left with. Any pain she might have had, is now over, at least. ...But yeah, the feeling is weird, and it suggests what's yet to come three more times. I don't know if i want to just lay in bed or not, or what else to do, right now. But i feel reminded in a way so clearly and unmisleading, that everything has come to an end, and life doesn't grant mercy there. ...Almost reassuring in a bizarre way.
Good night from Germany, everyone.
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
inspirations for the band-members
2 min read
Here it's about Elisa's band again, but rather about a listing for myself, that hopefully will get updated.
The list is about kind directly, creatively, influencing or inspiring songs to each of the band members, -just so that i don't forget about them (like it seems it already happened *sigh*)
(Also; most of their names, are yet 'working-title names', so yet not finally decided.)
Anyway, here we go:
1. Elisa McP. (Dat Pokemon; vocals/e-keyboard) - doesn't need any song really, at least not here, for that an own, whole journal post here with songs in it, fulfils that duty already.
2. Amanda Benson (wide-hipped redhead-tomboy; e-bass) -
3. Christa Boreaux (tall, busty brunette in deep-cleavaged spandex; e-bass) -
4. Elisa 'Lissy' Bronner van (something) (Ginger-Venus-Angelic; chiptunes) - Anamanaguchi - Japan Air
5. Vivien Rommbauer (sad-smile'd SGirl-bikeress; electronic sounds) -
6. Yumi Sorahama (cute, quiet Japanese in high-collar long-sleeve pullover; e-keyboard) -
7. Sevgi Solag (gorgeous, lively Turk; e-guitar) -
8. Ursula Gronach (tall, mysterious blonde in tight top and baggy-jeans; drums) - Wir sind Helden - Wenn es passiert
9. Yukiko Hamanaka (slender Japanese beauty with long, black hair; violin/other alternative sounds) -
10. Trudy Joyce Bernstein (quiet, snuggly, mysterious pervy-weirdo blondie; samples/mixing) -
11. Marit Franziska Blomberg (punk'ish gruff-looking blackhaired contrast-cutie; lightshow, etc.) - Wir sind Helden - Wenn es passiert
12. Joyce 'Joy' Glenn (sad and tired eyed, insecure redhead; tech/sound-check) -
(i also would love to implement some images to each and every one of them, of what people inspired me to each of them, but i'm no sure if that'd go well, what with copyright and NSFW-thingies; such a misery, but what can you do.)
Besides, i also still don't have a name for this band. xD
The list is about kind directly, creatively, influencing or inspiring songs to each of the band members, -just so that i don't forget about them (like it seems it already happened *sigh*)
(Also; most of their names, are yet 'working-title names', so yet not finally decided.)
Anyway, here we go:
1. Elisa McP. (Dat Pokemon; vocals/e-keyboard) - doesn't need any song really, at least not here, for that an own, whole journal post here with songs in it, fulfils that duty already.
2. Amanda Benson (wide-hipped redhead-tomboy; e-bass) -
3. Christa Boreaux (tall, busty brunette in deep-cleavaged spandex; e-bass) -
4. Elisa 'Lissy' Bronner van (something) (Ginger-Venus-Angelic; chiptunes) - Anamanaguchi - Japan Air
5. Vivien Rommbauer (sad-smile'd SGirl-bikeress; electronic sounds) -
6. Yumi Sorahama (cute, quiet Japanese in high-collar long-sleeve pullover; e-keyboard) -
7. Sevgi Solag (gorgeous, lively Turk; e-guitar) -
8. Ursula Gronach (tall, mysterious blonde in tight top and baggy-jeans; drums) - Wir sind Helden - Wenn es passiert
9. Yukiko Hamanaka (slender Japanese beauty with long, black hair; violin/other alternative sounds) -
10. Trudy Joyce Bernstein (quiet, snuggly, mysterious pervy-weirdo blondie; samples/mixing) -
11. Marit Franziska Blomberg (punk'ish gruff-looking blackhaired contrast-cutie; lightshow, etc.) - Wir sind Helden - Wenn es passiert
12. Joyce 'Joy' Glenn (sad and tired eyed, insecure redhead; tech/sound-check) -
(i also would love to implement some images to each and every one of them, of what people inspired me to each of them, but i'm no sure if that'd go well, what with copyright and NSFW-thingies; such a misery, but what can you do.)
Besides, i also still don't have a name for this band. xD
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
adorable romantic sexual love music
2 min read
Imagine a large hall, big enough for a concert, but filled with people of all types, who are actually all more or less naked, and who're all having sex, with everyone, even total strangers, -technically an orgy. But instead of being dark and wicked, everything and everyone is submerged in a pastel-coloured, dimmed light, with more pastel coloured, bright lights dancing constantly all around, -discoball style. In addition to that all, some constant, heart-felt, powerful but adorable, cute and romantic chiptune music accompanies everyone. And that all, starting, reaching a peak point and phase, and from that on, keeping on going, all night long, with an open ceiling, under the starry night sky, until everyone falls asleep, among all their sexing, stranger fellas.
Can you imagine that? Can you picture that?
That song you may know already, and that scenery may sound kind of familiar in one way or another, and yes, you may recall my other journal post about Elisa's band, with the different musical influences as well as the thematic and atmospheric ideas and influences. And exactly around that, i imagine this to happen, and to be the case, so that this scenario above, would be the result of one of Elisa's (and her band's) 'special' concerts, featuring that (, kind of even in a planned and announced way, so it wouldn't even be a 'lucky result' or unexpected, really. I actually even imagine her to openly announced that concert to be of that sort, and the fans and people coming there, totally aware of that.)
Can you imagine that? Can you picture that?
That song you may know already, and that scenery may sound kind of familiar in one way or another, and yes, you may recall my other journal post about Elisa's band, with the different musical influences as well as the thematic and atmospheric ideas and influences. And exactly around that, i imagine this to happen, and to be the case, so that this scenario above, would be the result of one of Elisa's (and her band's) 'special' concerts, featuring that (, kind of even in a planned and announced way, so it wouldn't even be a 'lucky result' or unexpected, really. I actually even imagine her to openly announced that concert to be of that sort, and the fans and people coming there, totally aware of that.)
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
Recently, ....or actually, kinda right now, i'm getting back on mind, to that topic about violence in entertainment media, while listening to discussion shows of the German online-youtube-videogaming-channel of RocketBeans, formerly MTV's GameOne, where such topics get tackled, and i still got it on my planned schedule to write an article about the role and legitimacy of violence in especially videogames, especially in the context of the game Hatred....and i'll sure get there yet. But for now, i want to ask you a few curious question in regard of this overall topic.
So have me not talking as much again as i usually tend to do, but instead to interview you instead, without further ado:
1. Have you ever had any personal experience in videogames, in movies, or both even, where a scene or moment of violence, perhaps even explicitly shown violence, where it was too much to your feelings, or your taste? Has it then been just too much to your opinion, or did it even cause you some actual bad reactions, perhaps even physically?
2. On the second question, allow me to ask you the same as at the first question right above again, but in particular, about anime or manga? i'm interested in that for once, in particular.
3. What is your personal opinion on where violence in videogames, or also in movies (both, if you can) would go too far or would doubtlessly cross a line for good? Or do you have even an opinion about a case of that, which already exists?
4. What is your opinion and what are your thoughts about violence in videogames (in particular), in general? legit, or misplaced, or do you think it 'depends'?
5. What is your opinion on, -if you have any, there-, what exactly it is that has changed in videogames and movies, or maybe in us, regarding the violence, over the last few centuries, during which we seemingly grew more and more acceptant and/or liberal?
6. Do you think that regardless of the medium, but especially in visual media (games, movies, etc.), the violence that is used, staged and shown, can have an artistic or otherwise worthwhile value or merit?
7. At last, a rather specific question. What do you think about the emotional and moral differentiation on the minds of people between the violence against definitive humans, and against non-human humanoids, from artificial humanoids like androids over mutants or aliens or so, to even Elfs, Orcs and such?
Thank you already for your attention, your time spent and for sharing your opinion.
So have me not talking as much again as i usually tend to do, but instead to interview you instead, without further ado:
1. Have you ever had any personal experience in videogames, in movies, or both even, where a scene or moment of violence, perhaps even explicitly shown violence, where it was too much to your feelings, or your taste? Has it then been just too much to your opinion, or did it even cause you some actual bad reactions, perhaps even physically?
2. On the second question, allow me to ask you the same as at the first question right above again, but in particular, about anime or manga? i'm interested in that for once, in particular.
3. What is your personal opinion on where violence in videogames, or also in movies (both, if you can) would go too far or would doubtlessly cross a line for good? Or do you have even an opinion about a case of that, which already exists?
4. What is your opinion and what are your thoughts about violence in videogames (in particular), in general? legit, or misplaced, or do you think it 'depends'?
5. What is your opinion on, -if you have any, there-, what exactly it is that has changed in videogames and movies, or maybe in us, regarding the violence, over the last few centuries, during which we seemingly grew more and more acceptant and/or liberal?
6. Do you think that regardless of the medium, but especially in visual media (games, movies, etc.), the violence that is used, staged and shown, can have an artistic or otherwise worthwhile value or merit?
7. At last, a rather specific question. What do you think about the emotional and moral differentiation on the minds of people between the violence against definitive humans, and against non-human humanoids, from artificial humanoids like androids over mutants or aliens or so, to even Elfs, Orcs and such?
Thank you already for your attention, your time spent and for sharing your opinion.
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
do you wanna hear...
1 min read
...something, really, really bad?
here it goes:
oh you fucking world, hear me whine, for more spanks, and shivers down my spine!
for that i yes be still a dirty puss, but for today i wanna be a slapping-huss!
oh world, you can have me without a fight, but my master will always have the first right!
oh people and folk, all you shall know, under my masters firmest hand i'll always bow.
a little cat, no home, no feast, but give me a smack and a kiss, and i'll become the dirtiest beast!
baad, baaaaaaaaaaaaad poetry.....so bad it nearly is none such. xD
here it goes:
oh you fucking world, hear me whine, for more spanks, and shivers down my spine!
for that i yes be still a dirty puss, but for today i wanna be a slapping-huss!
oh world, you can have me without a fight, but my master will always have the first right!
oh people and folk, all you shall know, under my masters firmest hand i'll always bow.
a little cat, no home, no feast, but give me a smack and a kiss, and i'll become the dirtiest beast!
baad, baaaaaaaaaaaaad poetry.....so bad it nearly is none such. xD
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
Featured